So I can ditch this mask and you can have your seat back. I just cant wait until this Covid business is over. My keys are in my pocket but you are still managing to drive me crazy.ĭo you want me to see your shoes now or should I wait until they are over my shoulder.Īlbert Einstein believed that nothing was faster than light.īut he wasn't here to see how fast I fell for you. Man: You are making all the other women look bad Man: I am so sorry but I am going to have to ask you to leave right now. If you were a vegetable you would be a cute cumber If you were a fruit, you would be a FINEapple. Holy smokes girl, your bone structure is giving my bone structure. Lady: "I think you should definitely say hi and introduce yourself." Man: "If a see a lady that I find really attractive, should I just go straight up to her and say hello and introduce myself or is that too forward?" Man: "excuse me, I have a question and I would like a females thoughts" Look at me, I have so many knives and forks and all I need is a little spoon, you would be perfect!Ĭon: You have to lug around a bunch of cutlery when you go out.Įxcuse me but do you have an ugly boyfriend/girlfriend? I think you may have kidney stones, because your body rocks. I bet that you had your drivers license suspended, because you kept driving all the guys crazy.īecause I sure can sea you lion beside me in my bed later on. I would tell you a joke about my member but it is far too long. My name is John, now you know what to scream later on. Hey there, I just crapped my pants, can I get into yours?ĭo you want to see what an Australian kiss is? Man: Oh, I thought we were naming things that we were going to cheat on.īecause I want to subtract your clothes, spread your legs and pray to god that we don't multiply.Įven if we were on the moon where there is no gravity, I would still fall for you. Lady: What does that have to do with anything? Do you have any idea what song they sing?īecause I would definitely bang you against every single piece of furniture in my house. Man: I recently read an article that said 92% of women masturbate in the shower, and the other 8% sing. When she looks disappointed at your lame effort and starts to ignore you just say "you know what? one day your kids are going to come up to me and ask, daddy, how did you meet mommy? and I am going to have to tell them what a bitch you are being right now. (This one is failsafe!) If I was to ask if you wanted to sleep with me, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?īecause I was always taught to follow my dreams.Ĭheck the label on the girls shirt and say the ever classic "Just as I thought, made in heaven". You are so gorgeous that you made me forget my pick up line. You remind me of my garbage bin, I'd love to take you out on thursdays. These are seriously cheesy pick up lines!īecause I'm sure I just saw you checking out my package.īecause I really want to drill you and make a huge mess. I'm not a weatherman, but you can definitely expect at least 3 inches tonight.īecause you certainly have my privates standing at attention. "Do you have a match?" respond with "I have the perfect match, me and you" "Do you have the time?" respond with "Do you have the energy" Polyester (they expect you to say boyfriend material) How about this, you give me yours and just wait to see what I can do with it.ĭo you know how much a fat penguin weighs?īecause I have some awesome karma-sutra positions to show you.īecause I haven't done you but I wish I had.įeel my shirt, do you know what it is made of? I’m not an expert at maths, but I’m great with numbers. They told me to never judge a book by its cover but I don't even know you and I am already checking you out.įirst we get really hammered, then I get to nail you Man: Because I have no idea how you work, but I have a feeling in my belly that makes me want to take you out.īecause you completely just blew me away.Īpart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?īecause you defnitely have everything I have been searching for. Man: (Whilst flexing his guns) Because these pythons are sick Man: Is there a vet anywhere around here? Need more good pick up lines? We are just getting started.
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